Why Do We Fight?

Have you ever really thought about why we have conflict in our relationships? Is it because we disagree on things or is it because we feel justified to point out what the other person is always doing wrong? How often do we admit when we are wrong? If we're truthful I would bet it's not very often.

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Relationships A mess worth making by Timothy S Lane & Paul David Tripp tells us "conflict with others is one of God's mysterious, counterintuitive ways of rescuing us from ourselves. God uses it to get us where he wants to take us before we die. Because we don't usually think that trials can be used in such a positive way, this truth catches us by surprise." "All kinds of suffering, including conflict with others, can be redemptive because of the grace of God."

I love how the book says "We have to be willing to face conflict. God wants us to grow and this is a crucial place where growth often occurs."

The book of James is full of wisdom and has to be one of my favorite books in the Bible, these verses talk about our selfish desires and how they get in the way of us being the people God wants us to be.

James 4:1-3 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Our challenge is to love the imperfect people in our lives and to humble ourselves and ask God for help when we are in conflict with others. We need to allow God to use those difficult moments to change our hearts. I encourage you to get this book as it will help you look at your relationships differently!

Another favorite verse of mine is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The title of this blog reminded me of John Denver's song "Goodbye again" so I thought I'd include this song as my dad was fan of his music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJocognElfY

Written by: Jill Theriault

Crossroads Coaching - @crossroadscoachingongodstime