Eliminate The Should Have Statements

One of the most common statements you hear from family members after their loved one dies is "I wish I would have done..." or "I should have said..." statements.

Let's discuss how we can eliminate these statements and begin living without regrets. To do so, we must live intentionally every single day, remembering that our days are numbered.

Psalm 90:12 NIV

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

We have all bought into the lie that Satan has fed us which is we have plenty of time to say or do things that we should have done yesterday.

Periodically I like to do a review of my life where I visualize that today I was called home to heaven, and I begin taking inventory of relationships that I did not mend (if there are any), I think about tasks that I left undone (what would I regret not finishing). Who did I need to apologize to? Who did I forget to say, "I love you too"? Was there an encouragement or a prayer that God wanted me to share with someone, but I was too busy? After I take inventory and make a mental note of these, I immediately thank God for giving me another day on this earth to work on this list, then I start completing those tasks.

I recommend writing your list down in a journal or spiritual marker book because this is the day that the Lord has given you to accomplish these very tasks. Date each one as you complete them and share the responses you receive in your journal because when you do this review later on, you can look back and see the impact it had on those around you.

I want to be clear, this self-reflection is not to beat ourselves up or to make us feel guilty in any way, instead it's the opposite. It is a tool that can help us live more intentionally and helps us resolve issues that need to be taken care of before it's too late.

God tells us that He will use everything for good (Romans 8:28) so every day pray and ask yourself "if I only have 2 more days to live, what does God want me to accomplish today" this will keep you in line with God's will and help you persevere despite any negative circumstances you are facing. Instead of being overwhelmed look at your circumstances with an excitement knowing God is using it in a powerful way, He is teaching us lessons and using our circumstances to help others, how exciting is that? God has a plan for us, who doesn't want to partner with Him?

Philippians 3:13-14 says "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." As we gain a greater understanding of how trivial things do not matter, we will begin focusing on accomplishing tasks that are important and meaningful to us.

James 4:14 NIV

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

Think about this passage for a moment, our lives are temporary. With this perspective, we can let go of our woe is me attitude and not waste another minute on being bitter or angry, we can let go of pettiness and view our circumstances as a challenge or a test knowing we only have one opportunity to do our best with each circumstance. Learn to pause before you speak, pray before you react, and allow God to direct everything you do!

1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Ask God to reveal the person you need to minister to, and which person needs to hear your testimony of how God helped you overcome difficult life experiences. When we arrive at our final day on earth, we want to hear God say, "well done thy faithful servant".

Colossians 4:5-6 NIV "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."

Here is a song to reflect on: "Live Like You Were Dying"

Friends don't wait for a medical report to remind you of how precious this life is. Live as if you already received it, so that you can live life fully and without regrets. Be intentional about eliminating "should have statements".

Psalm 118:24 NIV

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Written by: Jill Theriault

Crossroads Coaching - @crossroadscoachingongodstime